I will add a disclaimer to this blog. I may sound as if I am dumping and throwing a pity party, but I am not. I have some things I need to get off my chest and this is my outlet. So I apologize if I sound like a cry baby.
Most of you know that Micheala and I are very close. I am very close with Dylanne as well, but Dylanne and Heather have a special bond together, as Micheala and I have a special bond. So when Micheala hurts, It hurts me as well. So when Micheala came to Heather and I last week favoring her arm because it hurt, we had to get her checked out immediately.
The check up at the Doctor's office did not bring good news. Seems every time we go to the doctor's office, it's not good news. I think that we should probably stop going (ha ha). Doctor put her through a series of tests, and then recommended that we have an MRI done. An MRI done for a sore arm? Yes, an MRI because the doctor thinks that there is a chance that there may be fluid in her spinal area causing the soreness in her arms.
Let's pause for a moment and look at Micheala's medical history real quick.
Micheala was born April 19, 2005. Healthy birth with the acception that she had to be "suctioned" out.
6 months later, it is was noticed that she would stop breathing while she slept. Sometimes turning blue.
The next couple years, she spent her time traveling to Rochester, St.Luke's and the University of Iowa hospitals and getting poked and prodded with every instrament possible to try and figure out what was going on. She was on a sleep monitoring machine all this time. She had numerous tests done including for acid reflux. No answers, many bills.
Finally, she was diagnosed at the University of Iowa hospital with Chiari Malformation of the Brain and had decompression surgery on August 4, 2008. Surgery went well and came with restrictions that limited her ability to have fun as a kid. She fought on and started living a normal life.
May 10, 2009 Micheala was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. A personal nightmare of mine. It was a whole new ball game for her, but she has handled it.
Just within this past year, it has been discovered that Micheala has thyroid issues and is now taking medication for her thyroid. She also had a positive test for Celiac, which may eventually lead to a gluten free diet.
Now....the MRI on Friday morning. It just seems that it's a constant cycle and we can't get out.
We don't know what the MRI is going to tell us. We pray for the good, prepare for the worst and handle the reality.
Last night I broke down.
I told my wife that I was just plain and simply...."exhausted". I don't understand why Micheala has to go through all of these things. I don't understand....well, I don't understand a lot of things. The timing of this could not be any worse. We have our fundraiser this Saturday and are planning on having a spectacular evening with friends and family. We will still have a good time and it will be a great event, but honestly, not without heavy hearts in the chests of Heather and I.
Last night I broke down, but was reminded that I have an awesome wife. In my moment of weakness, she stood up and took control by being the strong leader of our family. I was also reminded of the great children that I have, as Dylanne knew that something was bothering me and kept asking me to tell her. I was reminded that I have great family and friends as they all can together to help assist in setting up the fundraiser last night. My friends that were not there sent me messages all night because they knew that something was heavy on my heart. In my moment of weakness, as I was broken down, I realized that I have surrounded myself with some of the greatest people on this earth.
Realizing that, brought me out of the gutter. I knew that with strong faith and the support from friends and family, that regardless of the outcome tomorrow morning, things were gonna be alright.
I have realized that with all of the above mentioned components lined up in my life, I am able to dream big and accomplish anything. As I have mentioned in past posts, I will not apologize for anything that I do that will help make my daughter healthy someday. I refuse to listen to the people that tell me that I should accept the "acceptable" because it is something that can be accomplished without stress, disappointment and hard work. I choose to reach for the "extraordinary" because I know that acceptable doesn't help my daughter.
God's plan for me is to help my daughter and the many others like her. I have chosen God's plan and it doesn't come with "average". It comes with stress, hard work, sacrafice, prayer and belief.
It was at my lowest point last night, that I realized how truly blessed I am.
No comments:
Post a Comment