Born To Be Somebody

This morning, during my hour long car ride to work, I got to thinking about where I am at in my life now and where I was just a few years ago. It was sobering enough that I thought that I would share.

Just a few years ago, I had accepted the cards that life had handed me. I was unhealthy, overweight, unmotivated, internally miserable and was just waiting for that day I would not come home from a diabetic related hospital visit. I was told the day that I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes that I should "take care of myself because a cure is right around the corner". So I bought into that. Then year 1 passed, then year 2, year 3 and so on until I had gotten to year 18, when I really just said, "To hell with it", and gave up hope. It was when I gave up hope that Heather and my lives would be changed forever. The juvenile diabetes diagnosis of our, then, 4 year old daughter Micheala.

I heard so many comments, "your daddy is diabetic so he can really help you", "this should be easy for you guys since Mike has been diabetic for so long" and "your dad will be a good example for you and help you take care of your diabetes". Like I said, I was already waving my white flag and have accepted what I figured would be my ultimate death sentence, so how was I going to do all these things that people were saying? This was a game changer for me and I had to start taking care of myself to set an example for Micheala.

I spent a lot of time after Micheala's diagnosis questioning my faith. In my mind, it was alright for God to challenge my life with diabetes, but why my little 4 year old? I wanted answers, but didn't feel like praying, because I had felt that God had failed me. I was angry, depressed and really didn't want to be around anyone for the longest time. I was puzzled; trying to figure out what sin that I committed that would result in my punishment being Micheala's diagnosis of diabetes. I cried. I cried alot, but still unwilling to pray.

Then it came to me; at a time and place that i would have never expected.

2 months after Micheala's diagnosis, She and I were in our garage, working on a painting project. out of the Blue, she asks me, "Dad, how did I get diabetes?" Caught off guard, I turned to her, slowly raised my hand and said to her, "You got diabetes from me." Puzzled, she paused for a moment, then asked, "Dad, will I ever be undiabetic?" Caught off guard once again, I paused, turned to her and said, "Micheala, i will do everything I can to make sure that you are someday undiabetic." End of conversation. She ran off to play, but I was frozen in my garage.

That's it! I had come to realize that God had a plan for me, I just hadn't received the blueprints until now.

I wasn't being punished. God cares so much about me, even at a time that when I cared nothing about myself, that he picked me up when I was ready to quit. Most of you are probably thinking, "well your child getting a chronic illness is a hell of a way to wake you up", which is true, but that was not the end of the plan. With so many new diagnosis happening each and every day, there needs to be advocates for the cure. There needs to be more people willing to step up and be the voice for those with juvenile diabetes. This is our calling and we are answering.

Sure, we could sit and tell you how bad having diabetes sucks, but that goes without saying, so we choose to be positive. We know a cure is on the way, because we are doing everything that we can to make sure that it happens. We share our story, we fund raise, we advocate.....we do everything we can and then look to do more.

This brings me to my final thought, I was born to be somebody and in the last couple years, I have been that somebody. Micheala was born to be somebody and she is and will be that somebody. Every one of you reading this was born to be somebody and that "somebody" is someone that you have to find within yourself. Never give up hope. Never give up on your faith. Never give up on yourself. Make the best of your today be the worst of your tomorrow.