What If You're Making Me All I Was Meant To Be

Watching Micheala's first JDRF Walk video, "What About Now" made me start thinking about the songs that I select for the videos. "What About Now" by Daughtry was a last minute choice for her first video. "You're Never Alone" by Jim Brickman featuring Lady Antebellum was a long researched song and was not my first choice for the second video. "Born To Be Somebody" by Justin Bieber was a song that I heard last February and knew that I wanted to use it for the third video.

Song choices are tough, but when you find the right one....you know it because you feel it. So I wanted to talk about the song for the first video, "What About Now".

I was originally attracted to the song because of the title, What About Now. It asks the question that most of us in the diabetic world have been asking for quite sometime now.....What About Now? As I listened to the song, I knew that this was the song for that video because of the lyrics:

"What about now
what about today
what if you're making me
all I was meant to be"

So as I sit in front of my computer and prepare to burn some midnight oil trying to raise funds for team Pump Princess, I suddenly get lost in reflection of my life. The ups, downs and when I decided to change.

Life for me, before Micheala was diagnosed with diabetes, was filled with things that were started and never finished, promises that were made and never kept, dreams that were dreamt but never chased, ideas that were thought but never facilitated and drive that stalled before I could get out of the garage. I had plenty of wishes but no wind to blow the candles out. I lived an average, unchallenged life in which nobody bothered me and felt that, as a father, I should raise my kids to live the same uneventful life because if they didn't challenge themselves, then they would never have to experience disappointment or failure.

With Micheala's diagnosis, I realized that I was wrong. I was setting my kids up for failure by not allowing them to challenge themselves and dream big. So I decided to lead by example.

I set our fundraising goals high. Not because I want to win some sort of award, not because I am seeking bragging rights and not because I have a huge ego that I need to fill. I set our goals high as an example for Dylanne and Micheala. The goals are high so that when we reach them, we can celebrate and feel the sense of accomplishment. If we don't meet our goals, it offers me an opportunity to teach our kids that failure only occurs when we decide to quit. We never quit. If Heather and I can teach our kids to keep pushing towards the things they want in life, then we are raising them in a way in which quiting and failure will not exist in their vocabulary. That is the life they deserve.

So, diabetes has offered us a motivation to be who we were meant to be. Years ago, I thought I knew what my place was in this world, but in reality, it wasn't until May 12, 2009....Micheala's diagnosis.

When I decided to write this blog and even when I speak to people about diabetes, i never want to seek out sympathy. I know that some of my posts unintentionally cause some sympathy and I appreciate the fact that people reading this have enough love in their hearts to feel that for us. What I intended this blog to do is to offer hope to people with diabetes in their families. Hope that there are people out there just like them and that are fighting everyday for a cure. I want people to read this and use it as motivation to find their own purpose in life. I want people to read this and see that the cards don't always fall in your favor, but you can do something about it.

Heather and I are a bit different than other parents because I think we learn more from our kids than they learn from us. I have watched my daughter Dylanne, for months and months, work on perfecting her cartwheel. She kept practicing and practicing until she had it perfected. She continues to do cartwheels everyday and everywhere. It gets a little annoying when she starts doing them in the grocery store, but I can't help but feel proud of what she has accomplished with her determination and hard work. Now she has a whole routine in which she starts with a cartwheel and goes into a backbend and finishes off with a kickover. Lots of practice and hard work. She continues to work on other moves in which I am sure she will have perfected before to long. Dylanne has shown us that hard work, practice and repetition leads to results. She never gave up, even after hurting her foot doing this routine one night.

Our kids are eliminating our excuses for not dreaming big. They are showing us that nothing is impossible if we want it bad enough. Micheala has shown us that no matter how many things get thrown at you (diabetes, chiari malformation of the brain, thyroid issues and possibly Celiac) that you can still smile. So we fight this fight. We will never quit this fight and we will do it with a smile on our face.