"You Know I Love You.....Right?"

First off, I must apologize. I apologize because whenever Micheala is hospitalized, I go through a period of deep thought and now that I have this blog, I put these thoughts into my writing.

As most of you are friends of mine on Facebook, you have read my post about our run in with the 3 doctors yesterday at the hospital. The first 2 doctors came into our room and started telling us that with Micheala's current conditions, she will probably develop Celiac and Addison's. This is something that we are aware of, but didn't necessarily want to hear after all of the excitement of the past 2 days. The 3rd doctor came in yesterday and told Heather that he ran a family medical history on our family. His findings apparently allowed him to give his opinion that we shouldn't of had children. Thank you medical professional for your opinion that cannot be reversed or fixed. I am pretty sure that our intentions of having children was not to give them every medical problem that we could. As I stated last night, I wouldn't change a thing.

It's very easy for me to hold up my middle finger and show everyone that we are 1) NUMBER ONE and 2) Fuck You if you don't think so (sorry for the language). But I don't do that, that's not who I am. I have surrounded myself with love. The love I have for who I am and want to be. The Love that I receive from my family and friends. The love of what I do on a day-to-day basis. This love is my shield and it protects me from anything negative that tries to penetrate. It still stings, but it doesn't cut and most importantly, won't leave a scar.

As I got ready for work today, everyone in my house was sleeping. Micheala woke up and made her way to the couch to watch cartoons. I got dressed and was ready to walk out the door, but before I stepped out, I turned to take a final look at her sitting on the couch. I paused for a moment and then said to her, "You know I love you....right?" She looked at me and said, "I love you too, Daddy."

I walked out the door and headed to work.

During my drive I thought about what I had said to Micheala. Why was I questioning her? Did I need confirmation from her this morning that she knows that I love her? If I am being the father that she needs then there should be no reason to question. That's' when I started prioritizing my life.

The point that I am getting at is how did I allow myself to get to a point in which I have to ask my kids if they know that I love them? I would like to think that I am not in the minority when it comes to being guilty of letting other things get in the way of what is truly important in life.

My baby was in the hospital and my focus was at my workplace. Not okay in my eyes. I used work as a distraction, that I will admit. I work with great people that understand my situation and know how to do the right things at the right times. I am very appreciative of them.

Do your loved ones know that you love them? I know that this is a question that I am working on eliminating from my life. They will all know. They will see it, feel it and know it.

On another note, Micheala and I will be sharing our story in front of 70 corporate heads at the Cedar Rapids Country Club on November 9th at 7am. This is just another blessed opportunity to advocate for a cure for juvenile diabetes.

Micheala is home from school today, recovering. She is doing well, but is still pretty run down. We appreciate all of the thoughts, prayers and visitors. We love every single one of you. I am humbled to know that there are people in our lives that will take a little time out of their day to pray for my daughter. God has been good to us.