Have You Ever Looked Fear In The Face And Said, "I Don' t Care?"

"Glitter in the Air" by Pink poses the question, "Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I don't care?" I heard this song on my way to work this morning and it got me thinking. Thinking about a situation that happened a year ago with Micheala and some friends that were over playing with Dylanne.

It was time to check Micheala's blood sugar so, we had to ask Micheala to stop playing for a moment. The other kids watched as Micheala poked her finger to get her blood glucose reading. Nothing was said, nor were any questions asked. Once we were done, Heather and I walked away and they continued to play. I started to hear the kids conversation turn to diabetes, so I stood in the other room so I could hear, but not be seen. One of the girls made the statement, "You know that you are gonna die from diabetes." That's when I entered the room. I entered to protect Micheala, but also to explain to the little girl that we don't think about death because it could happen to anyone of us at anytime, for any reason. We think about how we are living now. I walked out fascinated.

I knew Micheala was going to have questions about death and her diabetes, but never expected Dylanne to have those concerns. Dylanne asked me a few days later, "Is Micheala going to die soon because of her diabetes?" It was a great question for many reasons. It gave me the opportunity to explain to Dylanne why Heather and I have to give Micheala so much attention, but also to explain to her what diabetes does to Micheala's body and how we can prevent it.

She then asked me if I was going to die from diabetes.

"I don't know."

I don't know if diabetes is going to be my cause of death but I know that it is a cause of a lot of my heartache. The average lifespan of someone with diabetes is 15 years less than some one without diabetes, so death is definitely a fear amongst us diabetics. But we have to look at that fear right in the face and say, "I don't care." We continue to take care of ourselves not because we fear death, but because we enjoy living.

It is my hope that Micheala will never have to hear those words from anyone again, but I can't control what others say. I can just help Micheala to believe that a cure is on the way and that she should take care of herself so she can be part of that cure. I also know that when people start talking about death, it's because they stopped living.

So I look at my fear and say that I don't care. I don't care because I am living right now. I encourage all of you to do the same. Live don't just exist.