This past Saturday evening, Eastern Iowa JDRF hosted the 10th Annual Promise Gala. An evening packed with silent auction items, live auction items, a dinner, dancing and 500 guests that support our organization. This is the 3rd year that I have attended this event, but the first year that I have actually "worked" the event as a staff member. The Gala surpassed our projected expectations and was a very inspirational and successful evening. With all of the success and the "high" from the event, I find myself thinking about something else on this Sunday evening.
As much as we all wished it would, the Promise Gala doesn't just happen. It takes 364 days of planning and 1 day of execution. Our Gala committee and staff work on planning and preparing for this event beyond anyones' imagination. Without their hard work and dedication...this event doesn't happen. With that being said, "Gala Week" (as we call it in the office) is pretty much a week in which your personal life takes a back seat and Gala becomes priority. Being involved with the Gala, this is understood and not questioned by anyone because we all have the same purpose in mind....funding a cure for T1D.
Thursday night before the Gala, I found myself in the hallway with my co-workers, preparing bidding cards, programs and so on. Before we knew it, the clock said 7pm and I had to make a quick run to Taco Bell to get food for our staff so we could have a very short dinner break. At 8:30pm, we all hit a wall and decided that 12 hours on this day was enough. Exhausted mentally and not so much physically, we knew that we needed to pace ourselves for what still was ahead of us. I arrived home and my kids were in bed.
Friday was another long day. We, with the help of many volunteers, moved all of the auction items, props and other needed things to the Marriott Hotel. Once there, it was time to start setting up and getting things in place. Dinner with my co-workers once again and getting home in time to see my kids off to bed. I was fortunate on Friday night to have a 20 minute conversation with my wife; the first time I had talked to her in 2 days.
Saturday morning had me up at 6am and headed to the hotel to set up for the evening event. I had to miss Dylanne's soccer game even though the other team failed to show up. I didn't watch the Iowa football game with my wife, which is something we always do and I didn't have the weekend to play around with Micheala. I didn't see my kids on Saturday.
I wouldn't change a single thing mentioned above. I made a promise to Micheala.
I knew what I was getting into when I spoke those words ("I will do everything I can until the day that I die to help you become undiabetic") to Micheala in July 2010. I knew that when I accepted the position at Eastern Iowa JDRF that the position would include some weekends and some extended days; the staff was very clear about that from day 1. I knew that starting this crusade back in 2010 that it would require an amazing woman, such as my wife, to be flexible with her wants and needs so that I could work towards making the future of our daughter a little brighter. She does this on a day-to-day basis and is very humble about her very busy schedule. What I didn't prepare for or do, was communicate with my daughters about "What dad is doing and where he is at?"
Once again, a simple question from Micheala made me aware of this void. Micheala asked me tonight if I had any meetings next week. I told her that I did not and asked her why she was asking me about my meetings. She told me that she just thinks that I should be home by supper time. I initially just laughed it off, but then decided to ask her if she understood why I was gone so much last week. As I expected, she knew what I was doing. So I asked her if she knew why I was doing those things and she quickly responded by saying so I could help cure diabetes. It was the end of that conversation, but was invitational to a conversation that will need to be had in the future. I just have to figure out how to have this conversation with her without crying like a baby.
I know what your thinking..She gets it. She knows why you were gone and what you were doing. She even has a concept of why you are doing what you were doing. I guess that my expectations for what a 7 year old can comprehend is just a bit too high or I haven't done a good enough job of communicating my purpose to her.
At the end of the day, whether they be short days or long days, this is about her and her future. This is about eliminating the unpredictable days that she has with her diabetes so that she can extend more focus on achieving her goals and dreams. This is about finding relief for my wife; who spends a majority of her day doing blood sugar damage control. This is about allowing her sister to not worry about Micheala when she has to be admitted into the hospital or even gets the flu. It's personal...very personal.
Passion and disgust is what fuels those that are fighting for a cure for T1D. We have a personal purpose for what we do and that takes center stage as we charge on in this fight. The understanding is that even though our involvement is personal, our victories for our loved ones means victories for those that share this disease.
Although she wanted me at home this past week, I hope that she will someday understand that I was away doing things that will make her future better. I hope she can someday understand that the sacrifices that were made last week will offer much greater rewards for the future. I hope she realizes that her dad was absent because he loves her too much to watch her hurt everyday.
Right now, the $900,000 that the Eastern Iowa walk program earns or even the $300,000+ that was raised Saturday night doesn't calculate in her mind but I have faith that someday it will. It's hard for me to listen to her question my whereabouts and frustrating to know that she still doesn't quite understand. She's 7 years old and knows just about every word to every song that comes on the radio but can't quite put together the significance of my efforts today and her future. I guess I prefer it that way and will have to be patient and prepared for that day when she does finally put it all together. Until that day, I need to remember and have faith that I am doing what I am suppose to be doing.
Victory does not come without making sacrifices along the way.
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