One of the things that we have tried to do over the last three years is turn all of our bad situations into something positive. You know....find the "good" in every situation. It just seemed like everytime something took a turn for the worst in our family, we got flooded with the cliches. "God wouldn't give you something you guys couldn't handle" or 'You guys are strong and have each other, so you'll work through it". The people that said those things to us had nothing but good intentions, and it meant the world to us. However, we had come to realize that those things don't come true without us first, believing in what they were saying and second, us changing the way we viewed each and every situation.
I realize that everyone that reads this blog doesn't deal with diabetes like we do, meaning 50% of our family is diabetic. I realize that in regards to health, some of you have been blessed to have a healthy life and family, which is fantastic. I realize that some of you are exactly like us. When it seems like things are smooth sailing, you get hit with a sucker punch that knocks you down and you're not sure you can ever get back up. So for everyone, I wanted to share the philosophy of the quarter. I will often refer back to this philosophy, something I learned in college, to change my views and feelings on certain situations that I face. Let me explain....
It starts by digging in your pocket and pulling out a quarter. If you don't have a quarter, borrow one from a friend. Take that quarter and lay it flat on the table. Now stand directly above the quarter and look down at it. What shape is the quarter? It's a perfect circle.
Now, leave the quarter where it is at, and step back about 3-5 feet. Look at the quarter. What shape is the quarter now? If done right, it should be more of an oval shape.
Perspective. If you ask anyone to tell you what the shape of a quarter is, they are going to say that it is a circle. It's just common knowledge right? Getting into a bit of philosophy for a bit, is a quarter really a circle in shape? From one angle...yes it is. But once we step back and take a different angel, the quarter appears to take a different shape....an oval.
What if we substituted the quarter with whatever problems or issues we were dealing with in life? I will use our situation and walk through or process.
Our quarter was Micheala being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes on May 10, 2009. We stood directly above our quarter. We didn't like the shape of our quarter. It was defeating, filled with hopelessness, sadness, guilt, pity and tension. We stood above our quarter and it changed the shape of our family in a way that caused heartache and depression.
One day, unhappy with our perspective or the shape of our quarter, we decided to step back and get a different perspective. Our quarter needed a new shape. What we previously viewed as negative, now turned into something positive. With our new perspective we saw opportunity. We saw the opportunity to make a difference. The opportunity to meet new people and help them. The opportunity to start doing something positive and leave a legacy. The opportunity to change our world and the world of those who were viewing their quarters like we once did.
Don't get me wrong, diabetes still sucks and we sometimes find ourselves standing directly above that quarter. We have to remind ourselves to take a deep breather and step back from the quarter so we can again gain that perspective that we so desire.
The moral of the night is to try and change your perspective. If there is something in this world that you don't like...it's up to you to change it. It starts with how you look at it. I could easily spend the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself and all of the things that have happened to us. I would be miserable, plus I know that there are people in this world that deal with much worse. I want to see the good in every situation.
If you have a situation that is not good right now...try changing your perspective...it may change your life. It has changed ours.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
I Didn't Intend To Make The HR Director Cry...
A few days ago, I got a message at work from one of the corporate HR Directors. It was a message to call her back because JDRF likes welcome all new employees personally. Unfortunately, I was unable to return her message until today. This 10 minute phone conversation was a life changing conversation. It furthered my belief that I am doing what I was meant to be doing and with the best possible organization.
I call the HR Director and was instantly greeted with a great big "Welcome to JDRF". She created instant small talk and asked me how things were going during my first week and a half of the job. f course, i work in a fantastic office, with four of the best and most determined co-workers possible, so it was easy to answer that all was well. Then she asked me the question. The question in which she was not prepared for the answer. She asked me, "Why JDRF?"
I told her that I would have to take her back 3 years. 3 years ago, our lives changed forever. I told her our story. I started with my 17 year battle with diabetes and having no knowledge of JDRF. Then the diagnosis of Micheala and having JDRF enter our lives.
I went into detail about how as a parent, it wasn't okay to just sit on the sidelines and watch my 4 year old daughter start this life long battle. I felt the need to do something to change her future, so our family decided to get involved with JDRF. I told her that my daughter, at 4 years old, asked me if she was ever going to be undiabetic, and how I could only promise her that I would do everything that I could to make it go away some day. I told her about the various struggles with her and her blood sugars and how it has completely changed our family. I told her that we have raised over $34,000 as a family team in the past 3 years, but feel that we have not done enough. Finally, I told her that every night, I have to look into my daughters eyes and answer one question....Did I do everything I could today to make her tomorrow a little bit better?
I finished.......and it was quiet for a minute. I then heard a bit of sniffling. She tells me that I made her cry. A bit shocked...I quickly apologize. She tells me that it is okay, it just means that JDRF has the right person in the right position.
She then shares a story with me that I will never forget.
She starts telling me about a boy, 11 years old, that spoke in front of Congress during the Type 1 Diabetic Children's Congress. T1D Children's Congress is when delegates (T1D kids) from each state, travel too Washington DC to encourage Congress to keep funding research for T1D.
This boy stood in front of Congress and told them that they needed to keep funding research, but not for him. He explained that he was 11 years old and that he is strong. He wanted them to keep funding research for his 4 year old brother, who he was worried about because he was only 4 and not as strong. This is a story I will never forget. What courage from such a young man.
This HR Director hears these types of stories all of the time. There are numerous JDRF Chapters across the United States, which all have similar stories about kids in their chapters with such courage. Yet, she still is touched by all of them...she still is passionate about the cause.
I sat in my office for a few minutes after that phone call and just had a huge sense of relief....God has put me in the right place.
I didn't intend to make the HR Director cry, but she told me everything I needed to know about JDRF with the shedding of her tears.
What's really great about JDRF is that you do not have to be a staff member to make a huge impact with JDRF. JDRF is fueled by volunteers. Volunteers that are passionate and want to make a difference. If you are wanting to join our fight, I encourage you to contact you local chapter and ask how you can help. You will not be turned away. We love our volunteers and their is always something or someway to help out. Be part of the cure.
I call the HR Director and was instantly greeted with a great big "Welcome to JDRF". She created instant small talk and asked me how things were going during my first week and a half of the job. f course, i work in a fantastic office, with four of the best and most determined co-workers possible, so it was easy to answer that all was well. Then she asked me the question. The question in which she was not prepared for the answer. She asked me, "Why JDRF?"
I told her that I would have to take her back 3 years. 3 years ago, our lives changed forever. I told her our story. I started with my 17 year battle with diabetes and having no knowledge of JDRF. Then the diagnosis of Micheala and having JDRF enter our lives.
I went into detail about how as a parent, it wasn't okay to just sit on the sidelines and watch my 4 year old daughter start this life long battle. I felt the need to do something to change her future, so our family decided to get involved with JDRF. I told her that my daughter, at 4 years old, asked me if she was ever going to be undiabetic, and how I could only promise her that I would do everything that I could to make it go away some day. I told her about the various struggles with her and her blood sugars and how it has completely changed our family. I told her that we have raised over $34,000 as a family team in the past 3 years, but feel that we have not done enough. Finally, I told her that every night, I have to look into my daughters eyes and answer one question....Did I do everything I could today to make her tomorrow a little bit better?
I finished.......and it was quiet for a minute. I then heard a bit of sniffling. She tells me that I made her cry. A bit shocked...I quickly apologize. She tells me that it is okay, it just means that JDRF has the right person in the right position.
She then shares a story with me that I will never forget.
She starts telling me about a boy, 11 years old, that spoke in front of Congress during the Type 1 Diabetic Children's Congress. T1D Children's Congress is when delegates (T1D kids) from each state, travel too Washington DC to encourage Congress to keep funding research for T1D.
This boy stood in front of Congress and told them that they needed to keep funding research, but not for him. He explained that he was 11 years old and that he is strong. He wanted them to keep funding research for his 4 year old brother, who he was worried about because he was only 4 and not as strong. This is a story I will never forget. What courage from such a young man.
This HR Director hears these types of stories all of the time. There are numerous JDRF Chapters across the United States, which all have similar stories about kids in their chapters with such courage. Yet, she still is touched by all of them...she still is passionate about the cause.
I sat in my office for a few minutes after that phone call and just had a huge sense of relief....God has put me in the right place.
I didn't intend to make the HR Director cry, but she told me everything I needed to know about JDRF with the shedding of her tears.
What's really great about JDRF is that you do not have to be a staff member to make a huge impact with JDRF. JDRF is fueled by volunteers. Volunteers that are passionate and want to make a difference. If you are wanting to join our fight, I encourage you to contact you local chapter and ask how you can help. You will not be turned away. We love our volunteers and their is always something or someway to help out. Be part of the cure.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
My Kid Comes With A Kit And Instruction Manual
Tonight's blog comes out of humor, but for some readers, has a lot of not so funny truths. As parents of diabetic children, we have adapted to the little "extras" that we have to do on a daily basis and have since just considered it to be normal. As you break it down, there are a lot of things that we do that sometimes leads to much of our stress and frustration, yet we continue to do them. We do them to protect our kids and because we know that as f right now, there is no other choice.
Back to school is always a fun time of the year for us diabetic parents. It seems like when we just start to get comfortable with our kid's classroom teacher, the school year ends. Now we get to stress all summer about who our kid's next school year teacher is going to be and wonder if this person will pass the initial 5 minute meet and greet test, in which we as parents pre-judge whether we think the teacher is worthy enough to have a diabetic child in their classroom....nonetheless, our child. i know it sounds foolish, but we all do this....feel the teacher out during the initial meeting. "Have you ever had a diabetic child before" and "what do you know about type 1 diabetes" are questions that I ask, and yes teachers...you are being graded.
Then you schedule a separate meeting with the teachers and the school nurse. We are fortunate that our school nurse is a rock star and so far, we have been fortunate to have very good teachers. The meeting is focused around educating the teacher on how to take care of your child. The "what ifs" and basically walking through how to handle every situation and run every feature on your kid's insulin pump. Very important part of your child's education is making sure that they have the capacity to learn and that it's not being interrupted with uncontrolled blood sugars or pump malfunctions. In other words, if the people who are teaching my daughter cannot be students of diabetes care, then my daughter misses out on her educational opportunity. Seems harsh...truth sucks.
With our kids now spending 8 hours out of the day in the care of someone else, it is almost impossible to not have them on your mind. You find yourself making every means of communication available to you throughout the day. Meetings don't happen without a cell phone on vibrate. Email is always open on the desk and you co-workers know that when certain people call the office, you are interrupted no matter who you are meting with on what you are doing.
The school year also brings more opportunity for weekend sleep overs. We have exercised "Not this time" more than what we should, but we also have been denied some invites do to the hesitancy of some parents knowing that our kid is diabetic. I don't fault them, they are nervous. It is a big responsibility to take on. The only overnight that our kid has been on is when she stayed with a friend 2 blocks down the road. Needless to say, we didn't leave our house that night.
There have been many times when heather and I have said no to plans with friends and even taking off by ourselves do to the anxiety that we feel when we are not around our diabetic. We have a hard time getting over the feeling that no one will take good enough care of our kid while we are gone. The times we do have alone are often cut short because we feel the need to get her back into our care, and simply have a hard time enjoying ourselves with the extra anxiety.
We have been going through a "step" process to try and free us of our self imposed anxiety. We have created a "How To" laminated sheet to leave with the ones caring for our child, we have gone through the care directions time and time again, we have taught our child to operate her own pump and we have tried to increase our time away from her little by little. We are getting there.
I joke that our kid comes with a kit and instruction manual....but she does. We have a bag that we carry that is full of extras of all her supplies, emergency shots and glucose tablets. We try to make this bag as small as possible, so it doesn't seem like we are lugging a suitcase around all of the time, but the bag still is the size of a large purse. It's easy to spot a diabetic family if you know what to look for....look for the family that's always carrying the extra bag.
Patience is often exercised during this time of explanation. What is so easy for the diabetic family to understand, is often not so easily understood by the non-diabetic caretakers. I used to get frustrated when people would insist that my daughters type 1 diabetes could just be controlled by diet. That's when I have to break out the science talk and explain the difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes.
All in all, we have been diabetic long enough that we can laugh at some of these things now, but early on, struggled with having patience. I just started listening to what I was telling my diabetic child, "You are so special that you come with a kit and special instructions", and that seem to make things a bit easier to handle.
To all of the diabetic families out there, my prayers are with you and your diabetic children as they start the new school year. Remember that the Schrock family is always here for support.
Back to school is always a fun time of the year for us diabetic parents. It seems like when we just start to get comfortable with our kid's classroom teacher, the school year ends. Now we get to stress all summer about who our kid's next school year teacher is going to be and wonder if this person will pass the initial 5 minute meet and greet test, in which we as parents pre-judge whether we think the teacher is worthy enough to have a diabetic child in their classroom....nonetheless, our child. i know it sounds foolish, but we all do this....feel the teacher out during the initial meeting. "Have you ever had a diabetic child before" and "what do you know about type 1 diabetes" are questions that I ask, and yes teachers...you are being graded.
Then you schedule a separate meeting with the teachers and the school nurse. We are fortunate that our school nurse is a rock star and so far, we have been fortunate to have very good teachers. The meeting is focused around educating the teacher on how to take care of your child. The "what ifs" and basically walking through how to handle every situation and run every feature on your kid's insulin pump. Very important part of your child's education is making sure that they have the capacity to learn and that it's not being interrupted with uncontrolled blood sugars or pump malfunctions. In other words, if the people who are teaching my daughter cannot be students of diabetes care, then my daughter misses out on her educational opportunity. Seems harsh...truth sucks.
With our kids now spending 8 hours out of the day in the care of someone else, it is almost impossible to not have them on your mind. You find yourself making every means of communication available to you throughout the day. Meetings don't happen without a cell phone on vibrate. Email is always open on the desk and you co-workers know that when certain people call the office, you are interrupted no matter who you are meting with on what you are doing.
The school year also brings more opportunity for weekend sleep overs. We have exercised "Not this time" more than what we should, but we also have been denied some invites do to the hesitancy of some parents knowing that our kid is diabetic. I don't fault them, they are nervous. It is a big responsibility to take on. The only overnight that our kid has been on is when she stayed with a friend 2 blocks down the road. Needless to say, we didn't leave our house that night.
There have been many times when heather and I have said no to plans with friends and even taking off by ourselves do to the anxiety that we feel when we are not around our diabetic. We have a hard time getting over the feeling that no one will take good enough care of our kid while we are gone. The times we do have alone are often cut short because we feel the need to get her back into our care, and simply have a hard time enjoying ourselves with the extra anxiety.
We have been going through a "step" process to try and free us of our self imposed anxiety. We have created a "How To" laminated sheet to leave with the ones caring for our child, we have gone through the care directions time and time again, we have taught our child to operate her own pump and we have tried to increase our time away from her little by little. We are getting there.
I joke that our kid comes with a kit and instruction manual....but she does. We have a bag that we carry that is full of extras of all her supplies, emergency shots and glucose tablets. We try to make this bag as small as possible, so it doesn't seem like we are lugging a suitcase around all of the time, but the bag still is the size of a large purse. It's easy to spot a diabetic family if you know what to look for....look for the family that's always carrying the extra bag.
Patience is often exercised during this time of explanation. What is so easy for the diabetic family to understand, is often not so easily understood by the non-diabetic caretakers. I used to get frustrated when people would insist that my daughters type 1 diabetes could just be controlled by diet. That's when I have to break out the science talk and explain the difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes.
All in all, we have been diabetic long enough that we can laugh at some of these things now, but early on, struggled with having patience. I just started listening to what I was telling my diabetic child, "You are so special that you come with a kit and special instructions", and that seem to make things a bit easier to handle.
To all of the diabetic families out there, my prayers are with you and your diabetic children as they start the new school year. Remember that the Schrock family is always here for support.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Lives Were Changed This Weekend......
I am going to write this blog in two parts tonight. The first part will be short, but important, as I write from the perspective of a staff member at Eastern Iowa JDRF. The second part will be written from the perspective that I've been in since the beginning of this blog; a type 1 diabetic and the father of a type 1 diabetic.
Tonight's blog is about this past weekend and my reactions to what I witnessed and experienced.
As most of you know, this weekend our family was in LaCrosse, Wisconsin for the JDRF Ride to Cure event. Heather made the commitment months ago to participate in this century ride and as a family, we wanted to be there to support her. Little did I know, that I would be a week into my job as Development Coordinator at Eastern Iowa JDRF, so I had to wear a couple hats this weekend.
As a JDRF staff member, I spent most of the weekend soaking it all in. Listening in to conversations had between riders on "why" they were riding this weekend. I watched both the riders and the support crew. I watched the youth ambassadors and the friends and family of the riders. I was not even close to prepared for what I was a part of this weekend. I would like to share a few of those observations, but know that I can never recapture these moments through words.
I stood with my two girls at the finish line. Throughout the day, I gt text messages from Heather, letting me know where she was at in her journey. So as I anxiously waited for her to come across that finish line, I watched others complete their journey. The first encounter that struck me was when a gentleman crossed the finish line around 2pm. I have no idea who this guy was, but I knew he was riding with a pretty heavy heart. He crossed the finished line, was handed his medal and was quickly greeted by his son (who was around 14 or 15) and his wife. Not far behind them, a little girl came running towards him with a sign that read "My Dad Is My Hero". The gentleman quickly turned his focus to her and embraced her with a huge hug and kiss. It was an emotional embrace that lasted a good three minutes. The gentleman, wearing sunglasses, I could tell was holding back tears. He then got off his bike, noticed her sign, and again embraced her for a few minutes. Then, as a family, they walked away from the finish line.
"My Dad Is My Hero". What an incredible statement.
Shortly after this moment, I noticed another wave of cyclists coming towards the finish line. I noticed that one of the cyclists had pulled over about 50 yards away from the finish line. I thought to myself, "What happened?" That's when I noticed that the cyclists had spotted his youth ambassador and had waved for him to come over to him. The youth ambassador was a five year old little boy. The boy ran to the cyclists with a lot of excitement. The cyclists then lifted the boy on to his bike seat and pushed him the remaining 50 yards across the finish line. A sort of symbolism that states that "we are in this together". He also put his medal around the boys head for a keep sake.
Finally, around the corner, came Heather. Riding with her Super Taylor cape on, pictures of our family plastered all over her bike, our names written on her legs and arms with fancy hot pink tape on her helmet. She did it! She crossed the finish line. A victory for her, a victory for Taylor, a victory for Micheala, a victory for Dylanne and a victory for me. She was met by Micheala first, who gave her a giant hug. Then Dylanne met her with a little gift we had purchased for her earlier in the day. Then it was my turn.
I hugged her like I had never hugged her before.
What this meant for me was that my wife was 100% behind my purpose and vision in life. Matter of fact, it was no longer my purpose and vision...it was now our purpose and vision. She embraced the pain fr the purpose to make our lives better...to fund a cure for juvenile diabetes.
This weekend was the biggest JDRF Ride To Cure to date with over 420 registered riders. Before the start of the ride on Saturday morning, over a million dollars had already been raised. It was awesome to be a witness to so much support. It was awesome to walk through the parking lot and see all kinds of ride to cure stickers on the cars of the riders. It was neat to learn that riders from as far as New York had come to ride. The entire weekend was a complete victory.
Sunday morning, at breakfast, I heard a heartbreaking conversation from a young type 1 diabetic rider and a few strangers he was sitting with at his table. He was being counseled by those strangers because he was upset with himself. Upset that he was unable to finish the 100 ride. he had to cut his ride short because his diabetes was acting up on him. His blood sugars got to high during the ride and he was spilling keytones, preventing him from going on. The strangers were full of encouragement, telling him that he will finish next year.
It was that type of atmosphere all weekend.
I explained to our girls on Saturday morning, after their mom left the starting line, that this was our summer vacation and it was focused around helping others and giving back. They didn't seem to mind much, as I think they understand what we are trying to do as a family.
This was the best weekend of my summer. I was inspired, moved, humbled and very emotional. I watched a group of strangers come together for a cause. I watched my wife claim victory over her goal and I sensed a giant step towards a cure for type 1 diabetes.
Thank you to everyone who followed us this weekend on facebook. Your encouragement meant the world to us. Thank you to all of the riders that took their time away from their everyday lives to help us fund a cure for type 1 diabetes. Thanks to everyone who volunteered this weekend.
Lives were changed this weekend.....
Tonight's blog is about this past weekend and my reactions to what I witnessed and experienced.
As most of you know, this weekend our family was in LaCrosse, Wisconsin for the JDRF Ride to Cure event. Heather made the commitment months ago to participate in this century ride and as a family, we wanted to be there to support her. Little did I know, that I would be a week into my job as Development Coordinator at Eastern Iowa JDRF, so I had to wear a couple hats this weekend.
As a JDRF staff member, I spent most of the weekend soaking it all in. Listening in to conversations had between riders on "why" they were riding this weekend. I watched both the riders and the support crew. I watched the youth ambassadors and the friends and family of the riders. I was not even close to prepared for what I was a part of this weekend. I would like to share a few of those observations, but know that I can never recapture these moments through words.
I stood with my two girls at the finish line. Throughout the day, I gt text messages from Heather, letting me know where she was at in her journey. So as I anxiously waited for her to come across that finish line, I watched others complete their journey. The first encounter that struck me was when a gentleman crossed the finish line around 2pm. I have no idea who this guy was, but I knew he was riding with a pretty heavy heart. He crossed the finished line, was handed his medal and was quickly greeted by his son (who was around 14 or 15) and his wife. Not far behind them, a little girl came running towards him with a sign that read "My Dad Is My Hero". The gentleman quickly turned his focus to her and embraced her with a huge hug and kiss. It was an emotional embrace that lasted a good three minutes. The gentleman, wearing sunglasses, I could tell was holding back tears. He then got off his bike, noticed her sign, and again embraced her for a few minutes. Then, as a family, they walked away from the finish line.
"My Dad Is My Hero". What an incredible statement.
Shortly after this moment, I noticed another wave of cyclists coming towards the finish line. I noticed that one of the cyclists had pulled over about 50 yards away from the finish line. I thought to myself, "What happened?" That's when I noticed that the cyclists had spotted his youth ambassador and had waved for him to come over to him. The youth ambassador was a five year old little boy. The boy ran to the cyclists with a lot of excitement. The cyclists then lifted the boy on to his bike seat and pushed him the remaining 50 yards across the finish line. A sort of symbolism that states that "we are in this together". He also put his medal around the boys head for a keep sake.
Finally, around the corner, came Heather. Riding with her Super Taylor cape on, pictures of our family plastered all over her bike, our names written on her legs and arms with fancy hot pink tape on her helmet. She did it! She crossed the finish line. A victory for her, a victory for Taylor, a victory for Micheala, a victory for Dylanne and a victory for me. She was met by Micheala first, who gave her a giant hug. Then Dylanne met her with a little gift we had purchased for her earlier in the day. Then it was my turn.
I hugged her like I had never hugged her before.
What this meant for me was that my wife was 100% behind my purpose and vision in life. Matter of fact, it was no longer my purpose and vision...it was now our purpose and vision. She embraced the pain fr the purpose to make our lives better...to fund a cure for juvenile diabetes.
This weekend was the biggest JDRF Ride To Cure to date with over 420 registered riders. Before the start of the ride on Saturday morning, over a million dollars had already been raised. It was awesome to be a witness to so much support. It was awesome to walk through the parking lot and see all kinds of ride to cure stickers on the cars of the riders. It was neat to learn that riders from as far as New York had come to ride. The entire weekend was a complete victory.
Sunday morning, at breakfast, I heard a heartbreaking conversation from a young type 1 diabetic rider and a few strangers he was sitting with at his table. He was being counseled by those strangers because he was upset with himself. Upset that he was unable to finish the 100 ride. he had to cut his ride short because his diabetes was acting up on him. His blood sugars got to high during the ride and he was spilling keytones, preventing him from going on. The strangers were full of encouragement, telling him that he will finish next year.
It was that type of atmosphere all weekend.
I explained to our girls on Saturday morning, after their mom left the starting line, that this was our summer vacation and it was focused around helping others and giving back. They didn't seem to mind much, as I think they understand what we are trying to do as a family.
This was the best weekend of my summer. I was inspired, moved, humbled and very emotional. I watched a group of strangers come together for a cause. I watched my wife claim victory over her goal and I sensed a giant step towards a cure for type 1 diabetes.
Thank you to everyone who followed us this weekend on facebook. Your encouragement meant the world to us. Thank you to all of the riders that took their time away from their everyday lives to help us fund a cure for type 1 diabetes. Thanks to everyone who volunteered this weekend.
Lives were changed this weekend.....
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
I Dig Carly Rae Jepsen
Here's a couple things I have learned about purpose....
1. When your purpose is strong, the "How" is easy.
2. When your purpose is strong, you don't care what others think.
Today, I have been thinking hard about #2 on this list.
I have a fear that I am "in people's face" too much about JDRF and what team Pump Princess is doing to improve the lives of those that live with Type 1 diabetes. Because of this fear, I have, at times, scaled back my efforts. There have been times that I haven't taken advantage of an opportunity to talk with others about our cause. There have been times when I have said no to opportunities to be involved in events to promote what we are doing for JDRF. There have even been times that I have avoided talking about our diabetes when asked by someone. I do this in fear. Fear that people are tired of hearing our story and hearing about what we are doing. Matter of fact, it sounds goofy that I would even do anything like this even as I write this blog, but I have. Guilty as charged.
I almost feel as if I have lied to people when I tell them that I am "all in" when it comes to JDRF. Sure, I volunteer at every opportunity and am involved as much as I can be....but am I really all in? My fear of what others think of me has made me believe that I have not been all in.
So I decided that in order for me to overcome this fear, I have to be open and honest with everyone. I felt a good way to start was by letting people know a few things about me that others my find embarrassing. Why not? Just put it out there...the embarrassing stuff. So here it goes...and please feel free to laugh.
I dig Carly Rae Jepsen's song "Call Me Maybe". When this song comes on in the car, everyone is ordered to be quiet, unless they are singing along with me. I know that there are many people younger than me that find this song annoying...I find it to be a catchy tune, that puts me in a great mood. My girls and I can sing the song line by line, alternating verses and so on. We almost have a full choreographed dance to the song. I know this song is not age appropriate for me, but I like it. It makes me happy.
I own every Justin Beiber CD. Not because my girls wanted them (which they did). Regardless, I have them and listen to them quite a bit. I have Beibs on my ipod playlist. Again, not age appropriate, but something that I like.
Those are just 2 things that I figured would help me get over my fear of what people think of me. I am an emotional person, which those close to me know. Watching others succeed and overcome, especially kids, hit me straight through the heart. Watching Dylanne score her first ever soccer goal, seeing Micheala's first hit in softball, seeing the boys that I coach in baseball achieve everyday and watching my wife complete the 100 mile JDRF Ride to Cure in LaCrosse, Wisconsin on August 18th are all things that get me quite emotional.
I put a lot of thought into my efforts and what more I can do to improve the lives of those with Type 1 diabetes, and realized that I am capable of more if I just would stop being selfish and caring about what others think. Instead of being mute in the shadows, I need to stand and shout on the mountain top. I need to let people know that this is who I am and this is what I stand for...this is my purpose....and it is strong. I need to be transparent.
I am putting my fears aside. Most importantly, I am a type 1 diabetic, my daughter is a type 1 diabetic and I have many friends who are also type 1 diabetics. I believe that they will all be cured someday. This is my purpose and I am now going at this purpose with no more fear.
1. When your purpose is strong, the "How" is easy.
2. When your purpose is strong, you don't care what others think.
Today, I have been thinking hard about #2 on this list.
I have a fear that I am "in people's face" too much about JDRF and what team Pump Princess is doing to improve the lives of those that live with Type 1 diabetes. Because of this fear, I have, at times, scaled back my efforts. There have been times that I haven't taken advantage of an opportunity to talk with others about our cause. There have been times when I have said no to opportunities to be involved in events to promote what we are doing for JDRF. There have even been times that I have avoided talking about our diabetes when asked by someone. I do this in fear. Fear that people are tired of hearing our story and hearing about what we are doing. Matter of fact, it sounds goofy that I would even do anything like this even as I write this blog, but I have. Guilty as charged.
I almost feel as if I have lied to people when I tell them that I am "all in" when it comes to JDRF. Sure, I volunteer at every opportunity and am involved as much as I can be....but am I really all in? My fear of what others think of me has made me believe that I have not been all in.
So I decided that in order for me to overcome this fear, I have to be open and honest with everyone. I felt a good way to start was by letting people know a few things about me that others my find embarrassing. Why not? Just put it out there...the embarrassing stuff. So here it goes...and please feel free to laugh.
I dig Carly Rae Jepsen's song "Call Me Maybe". When this song comes on in the car, everyone is ordered to be quiet, unless they are singing along with me. I know that there are many people younger than me that find this song annoying...I find it to be a catchy tune, that puts me in a great mood. My girls and I can sing the song line by line, alternating verses and so on. We almost have a full choreographed dance to the song. I know this song is not age appropriate for me, but I like it. It makes me happy.
I own every Justin Beiber CD. Not because my girls wanted them (which they did). Regardless, I have them and listen to them quite a bit. I have Beibs on my ipod playlist. Again, not age appropriate, but something that I like.
Those are just 2 things that I figured would help me get over my fear of what people think of me. I am an emotional person, which those close to me know. Watching others succeed and overcome, especially kids, hit me straight through the heart. Watching Dylanne score her first ever soccer goal, seeing Micheala's first hit in softball, seeing the boys that I coach in baseball achieve everyday and watching my wife complete the 100 mile JDRF Ride to Cure in LaCrosse, Wisconsin on August 18th are all things that get me quite emotional.
I put a lot of thought into my efforts and what more I can do to improve the lives of those with Type 1 diabetes, and realized that I am capable of more if I just would stop being selfish and caring about what others think. Instead of being mute in the shadows, I need to stand and shout on the mountain top. I need to let people know that this is who I am and this is what I stand for...this is my purpose....and it is strong. I need to be transparent.
I am putting my fears aside. Most importantly, I am a type 1 diabetic, my daughter is a type 1 diabetic and I have many friends who are also type 1 diabetics. I believe that they will all be cured someday. This is my purpose and I am now going at this purpose with no more fear.
Friday, August 3, 2012
I'm Lazy
So we made the decision to buy Dylanne a cell phone for her 9th birthday. Not a decision I was in favor of and needed a lot of convincing from Heather to actually go through with it. She's had the phone for a couple weeks now and has not "over done" it with the calls or the texting, which is a relief, but I know that in time it will get out of hand. She loves to talk, so it is almost expected to come.
Today, Dylanne called me from a friends house to ask a question, which is why we got her the phone. She ends the call by saying, "Alright Dad...I love you."
I hung up the phone and it hit me. Out of all of the calls that I have gotten from her, I cannot remember one time that she hasn't ended the call with "I love you".
I do reciprocate the I love you with a "I love you too". I had to ask myself, why am I always the one reciprocating the I love yous and not the one initiating them?
As a father of two young girls, these are words that I do not say enough. I know that the tough guy argument is that " I don't tell them I love them, but I show it t them everyday and they know I love them". Do they? Actions speak louder than words? Do they?
I remember laying in a hospital bed 2 days after my 30th birthday. I just had, what they are calling, a heart attack, and was recovering. My kids were 4 and 2 at the time. I remember looking at them and wife as I played the "what if" game. The biggest what if that I struggled with was, if I did not make it, did they know how much I loved them? Did I show them enough and did I tell them enough?
Medical situations are no strangers in our house. God continues to test our family. Even through all of the hard times, the end result has always been a stronger love for one another. After every single thing that happens to our family, especially medical, we always seem to grow closer together, but there has to be a better, less stressful way to achieve this unity.
So why is it so hard to tell someone you love them? More importantly for me, why do I only say it when I think the other person needs to hear it?
It's not that I am some kind of cold hearted bastard. I have a very open heart. We Bought A Zoo makes me tear up for crying out loud. It's not that I am afraid to say the words, because I have said them before. i don't believe that the words can get "watered down". I don't say the words with expectation that they will be reciprocated, although that is good to hear. So that really only leaves one thing.....I'm lazy.
I'm lazy because I don't exercise those words enough. I need to say it more often to those people in my life that I love. I don't want to ever lose a loved one and have regrets that I never told them that I loved them. I definitely don't want my loved ones to every have a day in which they feel like they have no one that loves or cares about them. Finally, I don't want to leave this earth myself without leaving those three words to those that I care about.
So I thought more about it and started thinking about the last time that i told my wife and kids that I loved them; initiated by me. Heather and I celebrate 11 years of marriage tomorrow and I cannot honestly remember the last time that i told her that I loved her first. That's awful. My two girls always tell me they love me, but rarely do they have to say, I love you too Dad.
I write about this tonight because during my purpose of doing everything that I can to improve the lives of kids with Type 1 Diabetes, I am also trying to become a better Dad, husband and over all person. Throughout this journey, I have realized that it starts on in the inside, specifically the heart. Opening my heart up, overcoming my fears and being courageous.
I have a long way to go in both areas but the journey has been fulfilling.
No more being lazy for this guy.
I Love You.
Today, Dylanne called me from a friends house to ask a question, which is why we got her the phone. She ends the call by saying, "Alright Dad...I love you."
I hung up the phone and it hit me. Out of all of the calls that I have gotten from her, I cannot remember one time that she hasn't ended the call with "I love you".
I do reciprocate the I love you with a "I love you too". I had to ask myself, why am I always the one reciprocating the I love yous and not the one initiating them?
As a father of two young girls, these are words that I do not say enough. I know that the tough guy argument is that " I don't tell them I love them, but I show it t them everyday and they know I love them". Do they? Actions speak louder than words? Do they?
I remember laying in a hospital bed 2 days after my 30th birthday. I just had, what they are calling, a heart attack, and was recovering. My kids were 4 and 2 at the time. I remember looking at them and wife as I played the "what if" game. The biggest what if that I struggled with was, if I did not make it, did they know how much I loved them? Did I show them enough and did I tell them enough?
Medical situations are no strangers in our house. God continues to test our family. Even through all of the hard times, the end result has always been a stronger love for one another. After every single thing that happens to our family, especially medical, we always seem to grow closer together, but there has to be a better, less stressful way to achieve this unity.
So why is it so hard to tell someone you love them? More importantly for me, why do I only say it when I think the other person needs to hear it?
It's not that I am some kind of cold hearted bastard. I have a very open heart. We Bought A Zoo makes me tear up for crying out loud. It's not that I am afraid to say the words, because I have said them before. i don't believe that the words can get "watered down". I don't say the words with expectation that they will be reciprocated, although that is good to hear. So that really only leaves one thing.....I'm lazy.
I'm lazy because I don't exercise those words enough. I need to say it more often to those people in my life that I love. I don't want to ever lose a loved one and have regrets that I never told them that I loved them. I definitely don't want my loved ones to every have a day in which they feel like they have no one that loves or cares about them. Finally, I don't want to leave this earth myself without leaving those three words to those that I care about.
So I thought more about it and started thinking about the last time that i told my wife and kids that I loved them; initiated by me. Heather and I celebrate 11 years of marriage tomorrow and I cannot honestly remember the last time that i told her that I loved her first. That's awful. My two girls always tell me they love me, but rarely do they have to say, I love you too Dad.
I write about this tonight because during my purpose of doing everything that I can to improve the lives of kids with Type 1 Diabetes, I am also trying to become a better Dad, husband and over all person. Throughout this journey, I have realized that it starts on in the inside, specifically the heart. Opening my heart up, overcoming my fears and being courageous.
I have a long way to go in both areas but the journey has been fulfilling.
No more being lazy for this guy.
I Love You.
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